Would You Marry A Man Who Was Perfect For You, But His Family Did Not Like You?

I met a man, we have been dating for over a year and talking about marriage

 

– he is tall and handsome (there are 3 things that I don’t really like about his appearance, but they can be worked upon and I am not the most beautiful in the world)

– he is super healthy, takes care of himself

– he earns 77,000 dollars a year (before tax), and is likely to get more and more money in his career as he progresses

– he is in the process of buying his first property this year

– he is educated and has a good job

– he has all the qualities i look for in a man: kind, caring, thoughtful, considerate, funny, family-orientated, generous (took me on trips abroad, etc) and more. Nobody is perfect, he also has unresolved trauma, but again these things can be worked upon

– he loves God

– we have similar hobbies: travelling, events, he is literally my person and the male person of me

 

HOWEVER!

 

He doesn’t talk to his dad or his dad’s side of his family because in my opinion, his mother has brainwashed him against them. He also doesn’t talk to his mother’s side of the family (she doesn’t talk to them either). He doesn’t talk to his siblings, except 1, despite living in the same house. His mother doesn’t like me, as she feels like I am taking him away from her and she doesn’t like people from my country. She has tried to interfere and break us up, but he has stood firm and now she has said she doesn’t want to be involved in our relationship. This is very hurtful for me. I am concerned that she could cause problems for us in our relationship and marriage. He gives over half of his salary to his mother every month (she doesn’t work as she struggles to work because she has depression that is debilitating), but he says he will stop once he moves out. I believe that it takes a village to raise a child, and I am concerned that it will just be me, him, our kids, and my family. I am not welcome in his mother’s house, and I have said that if I am not welcome there, I don’t think it is approrpiate for him to still visit, just like if I was welcome somewhere and my husband wasn’t – I wouldn’t go. That person will then change up and act accordingly to make my partner feel welcome, but I think he is just enabling bad behaviour. I am scared he will one day resent me or accuse me of affecting the relationship with his original family. He has said that he plans to just have two families (me/the kids.. and his mother/sibling he talks to) and I am scared it will be a case of a man having two “wives”, pivoting between two households, being the man of both households. I don’t want to share my husband!

 

Would you marry a man that was the perfect man for you, but his family wasn’t good/his mother did not like you?